As of late I have been experiencing many little, yet wildly frustrating things.
Like no internet. And when I tried to call the company, I waited for ten minutes and then the phone connection was simply cancelled. Just like that.
Or like these calling advertisers. I had a box of groceries delivered to my house two weeks, decided this was a very bad idea, stopped the fun. But these box-of-groceries people have been calling-calling-calling me time and time again. At the most annoying moments.
Maybe my nerves are just short-edged because I'm so stinkin' angry at social welfare, who is making everything so very difficult. Demanding outrageous amounts of money as a way of thanking me for working so hard.
But maybe it goes deeper than that. For those priviledged ones who have read my book ;) the huge anger is probably a cover-up for huge grief. The feeling of being powerless, of having a life turned upside-down by something that I have no control over. The grief of going to the optician yesterday, and to hear that (in contrast to what I had thought) my eyes see as double as they did three years ago. And probably will continue until the end of my life. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil! For You (God) are with me"... (ps 23:4) I don't need to fear, I don't need to be so very angry or sad; God is with me.
Well here is something that did go into the valley of death. It didn't experience death's shadow, but simply death. This poor little mouse I found this morning in my kitchen. I caught it with my live-mousetrap. Unfortunately I forgot all about it so I think the mouse died from starvation or thirst. I gave the poor dead mouse a worthy burial, and a clear marking for me to eternally remember it (well, at least today). See the above picture, and some more pictures I included underneath. It's a good reminder you know, that my time has not yet come. It definitely relativizes the things that I'm so angry about and reminds me that I'm walking through life and death with Someone trustworthy. And well, it was a great laugh this morning.